Scratch & Sniff

I’m rocking some homemade deodorant right now and I’ve got to tell you…it’s fantastic.

WHAT?!

YES. I swear. I put it through 3 solid tests and it is amazing.

In my ‘herd of turtles through peanut butter’ type way, I’m slowly trying to make changes to the the products we use. About a month ago I switched over to Tom’s Natural Deodorant and let me tell you…it sucked. Actually it stank. No, actually…I stank. I stank in that special ‘keep your elbows at your sides when someone hugs you’ type of way.

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Say goodbye to all of your friends…mwahaahahahahahahaa!

What’s the bigs about antiperspirant? Well, basically the aluminum swells your eccrine-gland ducts shut so the sweat can’t get out. Not so bad every once in a while (wedding…job interview…torrid affair with Tatum Channing…Channing Tatum?) but not something I want to happen on a day to day basis.

So I was interested but skeptical when I saw a post from Mommypotamus claiming that not only did she have a recipe for a homemade deodorant that worked…but she swore it worked on a man. In the Texas heat.

Now listen. I have a man. A sweaty man. And I live in the Texas heat. So I know that a claim like that isn’t something to lightly fling out into the universe. You can’t saddle a woman with a stinky man and not expect some lash back.

You can read her post and recipe here:

http://www.mommypotamus.com/easy-homemade-deodorant/

It’s 2 simple ingredients: coconut oil and baking soda (some people find the baking soda a little irritating and if that is the case, you can sub out the baking soda for an arrowroot/cornstarch blend). You pour some baking soda into a container and slowly add the coconut oil until you have a wet sand consistency. Then you just scoop a little bit onto your fingers, apply a thin layer and rub it in until it disappears. Easy peasy squeezy.

Update: My friend, Crystalyn (who is Jedi wise in the ways of the homemade products) had this helpful tip: Never use cornstarch. It promotes yeast growth. And then people who use it often get yeast infections in their pits. So always and only arrowroot :-)

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Delicious on toast!

I had both of these ingredients so I whipped up a batch yesterday. We were heading out the door to a pool party so I figured it would be the perfect testing ground…especially since I would be surrounded by the good kind of friends…the kind that would say, “Girl. You stink.”

But I DIDN’T stink! After the party I made Kyle smell my underarms and he did because he’s an excellent sport. And also slightly weird.

I wasn’t sure if it was a really good test though because I had been in the pool for a lot of the party. We rushed home and got changed for our date night but there was no time for a shower because the clock was tick tick ticking and I’m super lame and will turn into a sleepy pumpkin if I’m not home by midnight so I slapped on some more deodorant and we headed out to play putt putt. In the grossest, most humid conditions ever. And I was wearing jeans! WHY?? I was so hot and sweaty that I had excessive perspiration in my intergluteal cleft.

That’s right…I was sweating down my butt crack.

That’s hot. Literally.

My butt was sweaty but my armpits were daisy fresh. Unbelievable. Still…I was skeptical.

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Uh Kyle…it’s pretty hot out…Peter Pan’s crotch is probably not the best place for your head right now…

So we got back in the car and did that lame, unplanned date night thing where we drove around downtown saying, “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t know, where do YOU want to go?” and Kyle cursed every time he drove too fast and missed a parking spot and I said helpful things like, “Oh! There’s a spot…oooh that guy beat you to it…OH there’s a spot..oooh you’re driving too fast…THERE’S a spot…never mind, there’s a SmartCar in it…”

I imagine Brad and Angelina’s dates are exactly the same.

We eventually found a spot approximately 823 miles from wherever it was that we didn’t know we were going. We trudged along with me giving helpful weather updates like, “ERMAGAH it’s SOOOOO hot. I can’t BELIEVE how humid it is! Is it hotter than it was last year??” and Kyle, who abhors talking about the weather more than anything else actually said, “Holy f&%$ is it hot out here.”

If that wasn’t an excellent homemade deodorant test, I don’t know what what else to do for you…

EXCEPT EAT SPICY MEXICAN FOOD OUTSIDE ON A PATIO!

You’re welcome.

As is my way I still wasn’t convinced. Even though I had sniffed my scent free underarms about 100 times and poor Kyle had been in there enough times to qualify him for a quickie divorce.

So Test 3. This morning I took the boys to the splash pad. Have you ever wrestled a two year old into a swim diaper, swim suit and swim shoes in the backseat of a Honda Element? Imagine getting Paulie Shore high and then trying to dress him. Lots of Jell-o like limbs and giggling and nonsensical words. And he’s the only one who thinks it’s funny. Lots of opportunity for sweat. 3 hours of walking between the splash pad and the playground…because when you’re cavorting in sprays of cool water, why WOULDN’T you suddenly get the urge to rip the skin off of the back of your tiny kid thighs on a plastic slide heated to the same approximate temperature as the surface of the sun.

Kids are weird. But this deodorant? It’s the bomb diggity. For reals. I give this deodorant 2 arms up! Now get in here and gimme a hug!