I Can’t Hear You! LALALALALAAAA!!!

Ruh roh.

What’s this?

Image

Ankles are weird.

That, my friends, is vas-cu-freaking-litis.

What happened??  Is the juicing not working??

Oh yes.  It works.  If you actually DO it.

I went to a funny place in my head this week.  That negative little place with that irritating little voice that says crappy little things.

“You’re too old to go back to school.”

“Juicing probably isn’t really the reason that you’re healing.”

“You can’t pull off flesh colored jeggings.”

Actually…go ahead and listen to that last one.  No, really.  Please.

For some reason I talked myself out of juicing for a couple of days this week.  It was more than the ‘pain in the assedness’ of it.  I mean, yes.  Juicing is a pain.  And expensive. And it it sucks to clean it…blah blah blah…all the stuff we all know.

It was more than that.  It was letting the skeptics in.  And of course, you are your own worst critic.

“How can juicing REALLY be helping that much?  What is it about JUICE that makes my blood vessels stop exploding??  How is that even slightly possible?”

It was a talk myself out of it, cross my arms and pout kind of moment.  So I found myself juicing just once a day.  And then…not at all.

The little voice whispered:  “It’s not going to make a difference.”

“It might.”

“It won’t.  And is this really something you want to do everyday for the rest of your life?”

“Hmmm…I guess not.”

Here is a solid truth.  Dietary changes are some of the hardest changes you’ll ever make.  And definitely the hardest to stick with.  Convenience foods are called that for a reason.  They are convenient.  At the time.  But if they are making you sick then they aren’t convenient at all.

I’m an old school kid.  I was raised on pink antibiotics and chewable kiddie aspirin (remember those?? yum!).  If the Prednisone and Plaquenil and Colcrys had worked I would still be taking them…popping them in 2 twice a day and shrugging off the side effects.  Driving to the doctors twice a week…sitting in the waiting room…sitting in traffic…sitting in line at the pharmacy.  I would have done it all without question.

That total trust in Western medicine?  It is hard to let go of that mindset.  I’ve said it before and I still mean it…there is absolutely a place in our lives for medicines.  But not the whole place.  And not with blind trust.

Is juicing hard?  Yes.  Is making most of our food and cutting out processed food and constantly educating myself a pain in the boohiney?  Yes.

Are there side effects of juicing?  Oh hell yes.  Energy.  Better skin. Thicker nails.  Healthier hair.  NO HIVES OR VASCULITIS.

Are there side effects of the medicines?  Just a few.  Nausea, stomach cramps, loss of appetite, diahhrea, dizziness, or headache, arm/leg/back pain, fast heartbeat, hair loss/color change, mental/mood changes (e.g., anxiety, depression, hallucinations), ringing in the ears/hearing loss, worsening of skin conditions (e.g., psoriasis). serious (sometimes permanent) eye problems or muscle damage, sensitivity to light, vision changes (e.g., blurred vision, seeing light flashes/streaks/halos, missing/blacked-out areas of vision), muscle weakness, severe stomach/abdominal pain, severe nausea/vomiting, easy bleeding/bruising, signs of infection (e.g., fever, persistent sore throat), seizures, shortness of breath, swelling ankles/feet, extreme tiredness, dark urine, yellowing eyes/skin, rash, itching/swelling (especially of the face/tongue/throat), dizziness, trouble breathing.

And that’s just the Plaquenil.

So shake it off, woman.  For reals.  I don’t know WHY my body seems to react so well to these diet changes but why the hell would I ever look a gift horse like that in the mouth?  And then shoot it?

So what’s important ISN’T that I stumbled.  It’s that I got up.  And back on track.  It’s that I’m going to go register for classes next week and that I have bone broth simmering on the stove and that I’m about to drink my second juice of the day.  It’s that I put duct tape on the mouth of that awful negative inner voice and instead I listened to the whisper of the vasculitis.  The worst thing that has turned into the best thing.  My gift.

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9 thoughts on “I Can’t Hear You! LALALALALAAAA!!!

  1. I can totally relate to being “an old school kid” as the daughter of a nurse. It’s so easy to pop a pill dang it! But those side effects are scaaaary.
    Are you gluten free now too? I did that for a month and still eat GF for breakfast and lunch, but it is a PAIN 24/7. You are totally right about dietary changes. A blessing and a total inconvenience.
    And kudos on going back to school, lady!!!

    • Yup…gluten free since last August. It used to be a pain but now I think it’s probably a great thing since it cuts out so many bad eating choices. It also taught me how to eliminate foods so I was kind of ahead of the game when all of this stuff started.
      Yay school! Remind me of that in about 6 months!

  2. well girl, keep on juicing if it works for you! proud of all of ur efforts… its hard to not doubt yourself, when everything else can be, or has been so uncertain..
    know what you mean about the crap ton of side effects, it blows.
    And I hate those vasculitis bumps, I get similar ones lots, too.. who cares if there’s no obvious reason as to WHY the juice works.. just try to keep up on it when you can, because it sounds like you need it! plus if it keeps you feeling better, it will be easier to stick with it, once you regain more energy.. hopefully! best of luck 🙂

    • Thanks sweetie! It’s also hard when I meet people like you that have been dealing with so much more for so much longer…it feels like I have a tiny, fakey thing compared to you and so many others I have been talking too. For what it’s worth I send you lots of good, healthy thoughts every time I read your blog…just know that someone out there is thinking about you! xoxo

      • Aww, thank you so much <3.. really, we all have our own stuff at different times.. what seems tiny to one person can be life changing for another. I do find reading about others, though, makes me more grateful for my own blessings.. Lots of healing, healthy, happy thoughts right back at yah 🙂

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